Thursday, November 4, 2010

The chili wasn't THAT hot.

I am officially 18 years old.
I'm too young to be an adult. I still think Batman, Star Wars, and Harry Potter are cool. I still read manga and watch Dragonball Z (Only when I have nothing else to do though).
At that same time, I feel old. I've been finding myself in more and more "Role Model" positions lately. Teaching Freshmen not to suck (like thats possible), giving Summer's younger siblings an "Older guy" to hang with and look up to.
I've been shooting less and less for those big dreams I used to have. I wanted to be a rock star, or an actor. I wanted everyone to know who I was, I wanted to impact the world. I still dream, but mostly I'm thinging about what I can do now that will make sure I have food on a table that won't even exist for another 5-10 years. The future is a scary place. Can I get a few years older and then just hit "Pause"? Please?
On the plus side, I'm looking forward to getting a new piercing that I don't need a parent to sign for. I can walk into a gas station and buy a pack of cigarettes without being bothered. I can sign contracts, buy porn (Not Happening), and get into MAJOR trouble for touching any girl under the age of 17.
Happy Birthday Sparky.

Looking at previous birthdays I realize that I've changed ALOT.
This time last year I was getting into trouble (ask my Houston friends about my 17th birthday party.)
The year before that I watched President Obama get elected with my family and the girl I was seeing at the time.
The year before that I was in my goth faze, and dressed as a vampire for my Halloween birthday party.
But the point isn't really what I was doing, it's who I WAS. I changed so many times because I had no idea who I wanted to be. Now I've gotten a bit more comfortable in my own skin, Ive realized I'm a much simpler person than I once believed. Give me a night with my Girlfriend and her family, a little gift from me to me, and a weekend with some old friends, and I'll say I had the best birthday I could ask for. I don't need a wild party, or a bunch of useless gifts. A bit of cash wouldn't hurt at all though, just sayin'.

So after 18 years of putting it off, I can say I'm finally ready for the next part of my life. The part where I figure out where my life is going, and become the man I'm supposed to be. Although no matter who that man is, he will always think Batman is awesome. Good luck to me.
- Sparky